Letting Go and Letting Love...

                                              CAUTION : PURE HONESTY AHEAD

      Im having one hell of a morning. Just a few hours ago, "Dude"and I had a long overdue conversation,kissed , and said goodbye for the very last time.It was unexpected at such a late hour, but I prayed for a conclusion to the madness and I received it .I saw the road ahead being contorted and dangerously curved,with a certain dead end. One month shy of a full calendar year and I finally accepted what and who comes first concerning my feelings. I entered the situation with no clear expectations or boundaries, which was my first mistake.Seeing obvious signs that should've made me exit stage left. Getting into arguments with someone who I kept telling myself didn't matter that much to me. Im not going to pretend I was blind to it all. Hell ,my previous blogs confirm that I wasnt. Yet I rode shotgun for eleven months on that crazy ride.I kid you not, I literally prayed to God to show me the end, because I felt it spinning out of control. On his end I witnessed him,well, being messy. Lil Homie still got straw in his shoe from jumping the broom, yet he's dead on my heels?Getting jealous about who I talk to?Wanting to keep on keeping on like we had been, knowing that Maury has created an empire from mess like this.Again, I cant blame him for it all. I know that the chemistry was insane. I kept that fortress around my heart; dismissing the necessary, holding on to the temporary.Public displays of affection.Feeding his deceptive ways.Giving "us" life ,when we should have been killed off permanently,like James Evans on Good Times.I am fully aware of the role that I played in this. Yet it still hurts a little. And Im letting this box of Puffs have it!
     This is a very special edition of Shenanigans&Mayhem.As you can see, its running long and strong like an MC with endless rhymes and an oxygen tank. But this is my truth. My honesty. My real life.Slightly happy about it though.Now my heart is available for a tenant who actually pays rent.Sure, I gave him a 30 day notice a while back, but in good faith I let him stay.Unfortunately today the sherriff has shown up with those papers and as of 5:05 AM, as he departed, Rapper Dude is no longer a resident of my emotional threshold...