Love's Gonna Getcha....

Love is so strong an emotion that without question I use it sparingly,especially in general conversation. I do my best to steer clear of stating adoration  towards inanimate objects,or even better still,inanimate objects of affection. There are few things I cherish dearly: my faith,my family,my life,and music. The rest are interchangable options that I can take or leave.Im particicularly cautious in relationships as well. Only had a grand total of 5 boyfriends ever,only a couple to which I uttered those 3 little words. Not that Im opposed to going out on a limb in the name of amore',but the Kid is being easy.Ive said all that to say this:we spread love way too easily. Spend your rent money on an outfit that you just 'love'.Lame.2011 tax refund on a trap that breaks down after purchase because you 'loved'it?Stupid as hell.The worst of all,continuously meeting and dating different people,but bringing them all around your friends and family ,and claiming to have 'loved'them all.You're an idiot.When real love arrives on the scene,there's no denying the feeling.It doesnt feel like anything else.You'll know when its there.In the meantime,start with loving YOU,or to bite off Rene'& Angela,Save your love for number one...

So You Call Yourself A Writer,Huh?

On the serious tip,the written word and music have been my escape for most of my existance. Since grammar school I've written stories,filled journals, penned lyrics simply for the fun of it all. I remember getting pulled from class and driven to some school way on the north side to write  essays. Are you for real? I get to leave school and do something I like anyway?? When I got a little older is when I would play the B-Side of a single I bought and write lyrics to the instrumental,which I still do to this day. Just soothes my soul,you know? It feels good knowing that the pieces I write inspire others,or make you laugh,even better,make you think. They're truly random slaps of inspiration,and if you know me you know I shoot from the hip all the time .If only I could organize my thoughts to pitch them the way I really want to.No better time than the present.I definitely have all of you to thank. Those that comment here,on FB, text, or just do ignorant sh*t to provide mad material. The Kid surely could'nt do it without you.Much love....

Too Much Finesse For Stress...

Boy I tell you,some people will do all they can to get the best of you, but in the words of  Jennifer Holiday" and I am Telling you,I'm not going"! Just doing way too much when its not necessary.Shenanigans at the gig,where on a horrendous day it looks like a scene from '12 Monkeys',bills going up &paper is still the same,and bitter ex issues.Anyone that knows me knows  a few things about me.1) I dont like peanut brittle,parades,or Barney Miller,2)I will tap dance for extra $$ to buy hair,and 3)Im cool and dont like no drama,although she apparently has an awesome fu*king crush on me.The last thing I like to do is flip like Wilson on someone,but it has been done.As of late my faith and strength have been tested,but Im remaining strong.Its all for the love of my son,for if I wild the hell out and make some really poor decisions,who's left to care for him?So when his pappy gets to acting his age(he's 121 in dog years) or when Im tempted to throw a chair at work,I chill. When it comes down to it,me and the Dillenger,we all we got!!!!

Your're Like A Hip Hop Song,Ya Know?

Im in a  manic type of mood at this moment. Do I really want to be in a relatioship?Do I want to stay single? Am I shallow,and just like for people to want me? Real talk.The good guys I put on ice,but the ones whose lives are running on treadmills, the attraction is stupid! Its crazy that I recognize this,but even more insane that I perpetuate this behavior.
I had an experience recently that astounded the usually unflappable me.For starters,I never been involved in a situation remotely similar to this.Im seeing a gentleman,we'll call him Flow for the sake of not busting him out.Me and Flow are cool I guess.Started out vibing off some music stuff,he admires my taste,I admire  his skills,then we got personal.A rather casual relationship it is,cuz well,you know the artist type.Im not interested in in his personal drama ,which he seems to have. And even though I know I couldnt deal with him seriously,he makes me feel 'it',whatever that is.I heard music in my head too,but I digress.Everytime we  part ways,I feel strange,in a 'I want you to want me,so I can say nevermind'kind of way.I thought maybe I was catching feelings. Nah,that aint it.But whatever it is,it had me rhyming in the midst of that tantric session.I heard beats and everything.I need to just be easy,because I dont want things to go terribly bad and cannot be salvaged.Hip hop brought us together,but logic,for the sake of my heartstrings ,says we should be apart.Sure,'nigga can Flow',but the beats of my heart won this round...

Hip Hop Wish List.....

87th Street all day! Man he's fly,with a decent personality. He'd definitely get it...

Hip Hop Wish List.....

Q Tip has always been sexy......

Hip Hop Wish List.....

I Can't Lie To Me...

No real rhyme ,but plenty of reason.Read a lot of posts about relationships,and began to ponder my single status and just take an honest look at it all.And one thing folks know about me is that Im going to always be honest,even if it puts me out there a little bit. So in the words of the Grand Wizard,Slick Rick, "Herrrre we go"....
1)I have a short attention span. I get bored very easily.Had an ex tell me to my face 'Im not some kind of toy you can play with when you feel like it and put me down'...Pretty sobering.
2)Nobody's perfect,but Ive caught myself searching for it.Ive met and been involved with a few men that had a pretty good balance,the yin to my yang.Just being me though,I fumbled.Explaination below...
3)I undeniably am a jerk sometimes.If something isnt to my liking,I voice that sh*t. A couple of  weeks back, a paramour was visiting,and asked what was on my mind. Well since I hadnt seen him in a month,the initial feelings of disappointment were long gone.I liked him,but it seems I may have just been a 'seat filler' in the awards show he calls his life. So I responded I was indifferent.That was the truth.Will I still want to feel on you?Sure.But will I ever take you seriously? Hell no. And ask me if I feel bad about it.Go on.Wait for the answer...

Somebody Loves You,Baby....

As I was vibing and riding on my way to the gig this morning, I fell into deep thought.A song by Phyliss Hyman came on.I was singing along in my raspy alto and snapping my fingers when I had  realization: she's no longer with us. Now she's been gone since the year I graduated from high school,but this was a relatively young woman ,a phenominal talent that we lost much too soon.Having watched her life's story I also  thought about the fact that she had taken her own life;after years of heartbreak,substance and food addiction,and ultimately the hidden shame of mental illness. There are battles that we must fight everyday.Although the road may seem tough,suicide is not the solution.I at times get lonely and long for that neverending love story.Because it hasnt yet happened does not indicate that it never will. Failed relationships happen everyday.Its a fact.But there are so many other reasons for us to press on and strive for a happy ,healthy life. If you need to cry,do it. Go to a close friend if you need someone to talk to.Life can be tough,but understand  that you are not alone.Know that someone ,somewhere loves you and wishes for nothing but your everlasting happiness.Much love to all .RIP Ms.Phyliss Hyman....