Hey 2011!!!! A Few Things Before You Leave...

 DiddyBop been missing in action on the writing tip for a little bit. Trying to get my life in order,you know? Not that Ive forgotten about y'all, and you know my brain is random as hell., but bills had to be paid, moves had to be made. I promise to stop neglecting y'all though. As this year comes to a close, of course Ive done the self -reflection thing as did everyone else. Having my life's twists and turns published on the World Wide Web is also a constant reminder. Its all good though. I must say Im so looking forward to a new year and new energy. As 2012 approaches, I had to beckon 2011 over in a dark corner and tell it a few things. Not sure how he's going to take it, but hell, he'll be over and done like holiday leftovers in a few days. Ahem. Here goes nothing....

                                                * BEFORE YOU GO,2011*
1. What the hell was the deal with all the negativity this year? I really tried to look on the bright side, but you just insisted on bullsh*t....Damn you.
2. The best way to get rid of someone is to ask them for something. True story.
3. When someone shows you who they are, believe them . No,no,dont backtrack because of your 'feelings'. Run like Jesse Owens...
4.Misery loves company. I refuse to wallow in that mess . Besides, depression gives you wrinkles, and Im shallow...
5. You almost ruined my feelings towards Rapper Dudes. Sorry, I love them , just as Erykah Badu does.
6.I saw a half naked picture of Idris Elba. For that I am grateful...
7.I recieved a grand total of $62.73 in child support this year. 2011, you aint sh*t...
8.I fell in love for the first time in a long time. Never mind my widdle feelings got beat to death with a meat tenderizer, but it happened. And I admit it ...
9. Hip hop remained my faithful partner through all your shenanigans,2011.

10.Finally ,you tried to do an about-face in the last month ,2011. Well it didnt work. 2012 is still coming and there's nothing you can do about it! He's already shown me he's got something awesome in store for me,and I cant wait. So take that 2011. Shake the spot...

Better Than Folgers...

      Been a little while fam, and of course my cup of shenanigans runneth over . Nothing bad thankfully , but certainly head -shake and blog worthy . More than anything , life has definitely been entertaining. If you cant laugh at the daily nuances , then you're doing something wrong .

     Well , for starters Im most certainly on the mend from my broken heart. Yeah, Ol DiddyBop was touched up all in the emotional area for a minute over Lil Homie, aka Rapper Dude. I just had to face the fact that Im not the roughest, toughest one out here. I  have a soft caramel core and I had to come to grips with that. Tried so long to front like what I felt was something light and I couldnt have been more wrong . Ya girl fell hard, like Kim Kardashian's popularity. A couple of strangely sweet things happened that forced me to move forward. On our "Nonnversary", an email of acknowledgement of the date was received, which made me chuckle a little. Next, and probably best ,I saw a picture of him with her , and for the very first time, I said out loud,"Its all over," before bawling like T.O. on every damn episode of that freaking show of his. Crazy thing is, I felt so refreshed afterwards . So amped to move along . All this time I never truly admitted how much I really cared , even though it was clearly obvious to everyone, including my readers, many of whom I have never and may never meet . Hell Stevie Wonder could see I was gone. Its all good. Im back to me now, so let the mayhem begin ....

In That Order....

      Each day when I rise , I take the time to give thanks for many things.Health,wealth , and happiness for self and all those around me. Just keeping it one hunnid though, I praise the most high for blessing me with common sense.As I grow increasingly aware , seems like quite a few were passed over in that area . The nonsense that I see with my own two eyes on the daily is shenanigans at its absolute worst!! Some things should just be no-brainers, but ,well, maybe that's just it. No mind to speak of at all!
     I'm not saying that I don't do the goofy sometimes myself . Hell, my 2011 belongs in the Comic Book Hall of Fame. The crazy thing about me is that I actually weigh the pros and cons of the situation and ready myself in the event that the outcome is not in my favor .For instance, I was vying for another position within my company over the summer.Thinking I had it in the bag , I got excited, but I didnt stop doing the job I have,I just hoped for the best . Well , the "suits"had other ideas, and I didn't get hired, yet Im still working my original gig . Get it? I didnt screw up my current situation due to wishful thinking. Why ? Because I have good sense.
     I have had people get totally upset and disgusted when the subject of family comes up, and I voice that I do not desire to have more children.  What I decide to do with my still perky boobs and undercarriage is my business,but others still feel the need to state their personal opinions. Look , Im going to say it since no one else has: This single mother sh*t is for the fu*king birds! I have a great child and an awesome support system , but the fact that the other parent and I have a strained relationship and at times little to no communication kills me ,and I simply dont want to risk putting another child through this. My common sense tells me" Look Genius, one kid is whooping your ass, dont be no fool", but people still do it all the time, going against their better judgement. In the words of Rozay"No sirrrr, not meee"....

     When it comes to love, that's when me and sensibility have a coin toss to see who's going to win. Usually,good sense breaks up the mayhem like Top Flight security ,even though my "tender loins" have caused me to make a bad decision or two..or three...or,you get the gaddamn picture!!! If bumped your head in a situation,and Im talking Willie Lump Lump, why jump into the exact thing all over again ? I have banned street ni**as,rapper dudes, and security guards, so anyone that falls into any of those categories can forget about standing a chance with ol DiddyBop Jones.I know all men arent the same , but common sense tells me if I dont want  my heart to look like Martin when Tommy 'The Hitman' Hearns beat his ass,I might want to make other choices.....

Hole In My Heart...

       Don't get it twisted , this ain't John Q, but the helpless feeling is one in the same . Since my car radio is on the blink ,I have an emormous availability to inward thought,self reflection. After I review my to-do list for the day in my head , several realizations appear.I was asked recently if I was 'on the rebound',and I answered no.A few moments and a John Hughes style movie montage later, I realized that yes, I am mourning the end of a relationship.Just because we didn't 'go together'doesnt mean it wasnt a relationship in its own right. Anytime either party starts getting the slightest bit lame and starts discussing feelings, nah son, there's a little more to it. And that's just the beginning. In addition to the fact that I felt like Lil Homie did a "Bend It Like Beckham" on my emotions, I looked at why it hit me so hard...

      As Ive blasted on repeat, Ive only had like 5 boyfriends...EVER. Up until the last 2, they were all ok guys,we just weren't meant to last forever.I could live with that . People grow, seasons change ,blah blah blah. But now Im a grown ass woman with a child,and my last relationship lasted about 6 years, give or take a hiatus or two.I dont really enjoy dating and having to get to know a new weirdo all over again,but I understand it to be a necessary evil. Contrary to popular belief,I like being with one person. The dry cleaning bill on my silk robe and bearskin rug maintainence is a beast!! Sure ,I can probably mack as hard as Max Julien. Do I want to though? Hell naw. It gets exhausting.So when the last one came along and more time was spent ,somehow I became content.It wasnt too much,I saw him pretty much when I wanted(which is why the marriage honestly came out of left field),and I got the action I liked. Just keeping it  rough ,rugged, and raw. Have I met a couple of guys since that I like? Sure. But Ive discovered that Im searching for THAT FEELING .Kinda like Gator in Jungle Fever, Im in need of a fix. As long as we no longer have any contact I'll make it just fine. Being honest though,when its all said and done and the collection plate is passed for the last time, I cant lie to myself . Im rebounding harder that Wilt Chamberlain. And we all know he wasn't no joke...

I Wonder Why They Call You 'Bitch'...

     When I hear the term 'Angry Black Woman', I'm slightly conflicted. On one hand, I really do pride myself on being the complete opposite: jovial,loving,possessing the sense of humor of a 16 year old boy(hey, I have brothers),I think I'm awesome to be around. However there have been occasions when I have found myself snapping fingers, rolling eyes and the neck ,and having a perpetual attitude. No I'm no SuperWoman, but liars, cheaters,and other rachet types are certainly my Kryptonite.
     Because my life hasnt been all bad, I still have some semblance of happiness in my heart. Pretty good upbringing, decent circle of friends, able to support myself and my child;things are better than okay. Not until others display their own terrible nature that the ABW makes her cameo appearance ,like Mr. T. on Different Strokes.
     I'm saying , as an adult with adult problems, I now understand how bitches are born. I had to take care of some business for my son's day care today. The office was full of women with children , in which I may have seen three men total,and one of them was coming out of the men's room with his mop bucket.The frustration was as dense as pound cake,part being that the line was stupid as hell, the other that they were handling it all alone.The ABW 's were thick as Luke dancers in there. I was well  on my way,but I thought of all that I still have to be thankful for and calmed my ass down.
     Work, love, and  life will upset you sometimes to the point of wanting to throw a chair. I almost went in today at the gig , but I remembered that we get paid tomorrow,so I chilled.In all seriousness, a few days ago I felt myself just giving up, saying fu*k the world based on the misdeeds of  one. Never that. I had to let that go.I really thought to myself ,as I sit angry and ready to give up hope on someone really showing me how its supposed to be, Im really going to let this weirdo affect my head like that? No sir. Not to say that I still dont get the urge to hit him low,REAL LOW,I relax.How I treat others is building upon my story. His actions have determined his fate. I can only do me, and truly , that angry bitch can kick rocks...
        

    

Letting Go and Letting Love...

                                              CAUTION : PURE HONESTY AHEAD

      Im having one hell of a morning. Just a few hours ago, "Dude"and I had a long overdue conversation,kissed , and said goodbye for the very last time.It was unexpected at such a late hour, but I prayed for a conclusion to the madness and I received it .I saw the road ahead being contorted and dangerously curved,with a certain dead end. One month shy of a full calendar year and I finally accepted what and who comes first concerning my feelings. I entered the situation with no clear expectations or boundaries, which was my first mistake.Seeing obvious signs that should've made me exit stage left. Getting into arguments with someone who I kept telling myself didn't matter that much to me. Im not going to pretend I was blind to it all. Hell ,my previous blogs confirm that I wasnt. Yet I rode shotgun for eleven months on that crazy ride.I kid you not, I literally prayed to God to show me the end, because I felt it spinning out of control. On his end I witnessed him,well, being messy. Lil Homie still got straw in his shoe from jumping the broom, yet he's dead on my heels?Getting jealous about who I talk to?Wanting to keep on keeping on like we had been, knowing that Maury has created an empire from mess like this.Again, I cant blame him for it all. I know that the chemistry was insane. I kept that fortress around my heart; dismissing the necessary, holding on to the temporary.Public displays of affection.Feeding his deceptive ways.Giving "us" life ,when we should have been killed off permanently,like James Evans on Good Times.I am fully aware of the role that I played in this. Yet it still hurts a little. And Im letting this box of Puffs have it!
     This is a very special edition of Shenanigans&Mayhem.As you can see, its running long and strong like an MC with endless rhymes and an oxygen tank. But this is my truth. My honesty. My real life.Slightly happy about it though.Now my heart is available for a tenant who actually pays rent.Sure, I gave him a 30 day notice a while back, but in good faith I let him stay.Unfortunately today the sherriff has shown up with those papers and as of 5:05 AM, as he departed, Rapper Dude is no longer a resident of my emotional threshold...

Hair Of The Dog......

      Mirror mirror,on the wall,Im still on some internal reflection ish after all.I tell you, just a brief drive around the block a few times and I had all types of thoughts going through my head . Still working through the strange contradiction of  not wanting to be alone, yet still having  commitment anxieties. Polar opposites huh? Probably not as uncommon as you may think. Got a few things to share(Queue Dream Sequence Music here..)
      I began taking a long hard look at the past relationships Ive had. Most were pretty cool and didnt end poorly. The last few,hell naw. Those were as bad as an Englishman's teeth,and no offense to the English. My situations were worse actually.I had a horrific near tragic situation with one that almost sent me first class to "The Upper Room", the ongoing saga with my child's father,and that whole weird thing with What's His Face.Yeah.Yall know who Im talking about. Prior to them, I had decent boyfriends/dating setups.I cant say that my feelings werent hurt until the last three, but they just took terrible to a new low, "And the award for the  worse ni**a I couldve ever effed with goes to..."There's nothing cool about telling the one you "love" that they will never measure up to your ex.Or pressuring them to look plain so no one else wants them.Criticizing their every step.Downplaying their excitement of getting a college degree and promising internship.Lying about your entire existance . Worst of all is physical violence.I mean, really? Is it that serious?
      Obviously it all was, because this has been my truth. Iam still a young woman and hopefully have plenty more years ahead of me,but Im at a cross roads. I havent been in a relationship in over 3 years . True I had that period where the mojo had to renew itself, but now I feel Im past that. I no longer feel the desire to become involved in casual relationships,yet Im afraid to go for the gusto. And I got alot of gusto to give! Things are even harder when you remove yourself from a broken situation,yet they continue to make guest appearances,like Charo on the Love Boat.
      Its crazy how hard its been for me to let it all go. Social media and modern technology throw a kink in the game when they still email you,follow you on Twitter,show up in music blogs and the like.I want to be able to love again,but after the last one did the Brooklyn Stomp all over my feelings,its a hard sell.One day it will all make sense,I keep telling myself. Until then,Im just practicing these home remedies for my love hangover....

No Rhyme,No Reason...

                  For about a week now , Ive been reflecting on some of  my life's happenings.You know , Im getting older, a little wiser,always looking to learn from past mistakes. This year alone has taught me so much. Its been a little more difficult than I expected,but life is indeed an adventure.So as I was driving in from the gig today, I had a few light bulbs go off,and I'll share with you guys...

1.Its time to work on my dream. Giving all of my time and dedication to those that really dont give a damn is not what's up. Like I used to tell the ex-Mr.:There's a particular type of life I want,and I gotta have it,plain and simple.
2.Everyone does not , and will not share my vision. Its up to me to make it happen.
3.I like Rapper Dudes. Ok , I just do. "Him" didnt work out, but he taught me alot.He showed me that men also can be Bat Sh*t crazy, slightly bi polar and that a mirror on the wall behind the bed is that BUSINESS!!
4.Wish I knew how to make beats, create my own sounds. My musical taste is pretty dope , if I must say so myself .
5.Although I can play the "game " with some of the best, I dont really like dating at all, actually I hate it. Real and honest individuals are few and far in between.So have I been treated and treated some in return ? Yup, sure did.But somewhere out there is the one I dont have to constantly prove my love to,who will love me and my son, who I dont have to second guess.Still waiting , but I cant rush a good thing.
              That is just a bit of the randomness that goes on in my head.More to come, but of course y'all already know that....

"Lemonade Was a Popular Drink and It Still Is..."

     As long as you're still walking and breathing , life is going to continuously teach you important lessons. You never stop learning ,however some choose to never take the lesson as it was given and grow. You simply cannot repeatedly do asinine sh*t and expect things to work in your favor.Whether it be at home , at work , or in love, you learn to understand that the energy you put out is exactly what you will get back . Your intentions mean absolutely nothing if not carried out by your actions.
     Its kinda pitiful actually. To hear a grown ass man or woman gripe and grown about what's so wrong in their life,know they are fu*king up royally,yet they wonder why their life sucks and want a damn pep talk. Even worse is when they want to get all religious with it ,shouting and speaking in tongues, knowing they haven't been living right. Truthfully, you do know He's not fooled, right? There is gasoline in your underwear drawer as we speak,Simpleton...

     Our time here in physical form is limited,and we never know when the credits are going to roll. Until then, try making the most out of the time you have. If you know you want success at work, do your job to the very best of your ability. You cant choose your family,but allow your home life to be harmonious. And in love,shoot,there's so much to be said on that subject .Most importantly though, send out the vibes you want in return. Be on bullsh*t in these streets and that's exactly what will meet you at your doorstep. Don't believe me ? This is Shenanigans and Mayhem, I know how that works!!! This is a first -hand account ,and I know right from wrong . But karma gives me no leeway!! I get immediate results when I mess up, so my playing days had to come to an end. Straight up and down ,use logic if you want a peaceful heart. Hell, life may hand you lemons,but make lemonade-and mix some vodka in it...

The Music Sounds Better With You...

         As we all know, I like the artistic type. Well read, cultured,talented. Men that fit that bill turn me on something fierce,and they are who I'm attracted to. I totally don't apologize  for that. Downside though, things often don't work with us romantically, likely due to being too much alike. My mind is also creative ,random, and sometimes (nah, who am I kidding, most times)lacks focus. So to be quite honest I already know some of the games that are going to be played and excuses to be used. There's always a wild card though. You Know Who did a job that slapped the hell outta me like Debo did Red when he was tucking in that gold chain his Grand momma gave him. Even still, that mutual love and admiration for all things creatively based  draws us together. Especially music.

         I have dated a few that are indeed musicians,i.e. rapper dudes,and I liked their music . Only when I liked them though . After the relationship soured I thought,"Dude is TERRIBLE! Who approved this 4 minute piece of sh*t to be written and recorded??"Funny thing is ,when we were all good, so was their art. I somehow had this epiphany at takeyoassbacktosleep o'clock and I realized that when you are head over heels,you'll support almost anything they do. And I did. Ive posted videos on my blog and Facebook page . I may not have really liked the record , but I loved me some him ,and that at the time was all that mattered.Think about it . You're at the lamest party on this side of the galaxy with Bilal on the wheels of steel and Chill keeps bumping the damn table... but you don't notice a thing. Public Enemy at that point sounds like Kenny G., and why? Because you're in the company of someone you enjoy .

         Ive learned my lesson. I will use discretion when dating an artist. Just because he paints doesn't make him Picasso. It doesn't even make him JJ Evans. But I will like him first, and put that 'fan' sh*t in a box under the bed...

You A Non Mutha Fu*king Factor...

   Yeah alright. A little harsh, but it had to be said. Sometimes people think that just because they pop sh*t, you're going to flinch. If Moms is cracking the whip, absolutely. But these wanna be hardcore thugs and bullies? Nah,son. Move right on around.
   To add to the utter foolishness of my weekend(see prior post please), I received a call bright and early from the baby mother of an old friend. Is he just a friend? Not exactly . Are we currently dating ? No. Have I been head over heels for dude since I came out of 8th grade? You bet your last dollar. As I said though, we're not seeing each other, and she's on some 'woman scorned' type sh*t. Adding insult to injury,did I mention she called me long distance,like 400 miles away. THEY DON'T EVEN LIVE HERE!!! Really Toots? You have nothing better to do than stalk someone from way over yonder??Let me just lay some of this on the line . Disclaimer: I'm about to act a WHOLE fool,so again, no eating or drinking as you scroll down and read this.

   For starters, buddy just got out of prison. Not 4th district,let alone the county.I said damn PRISON. He did his time, things were unfortunate, but that's my man,a hundred grand. Ive known him forever, and we're still cool. The dynamics of our relationship is a little weird and convoluted, nevertheless,it is what it is. That call was such a mess( I want to know how you know-----),girl, please killyoself. And you're forgetful. We met years ago. I kicked it with your sister. Oh, and that near ass whooping back in 98(my Pops held me back, ignant ass scene).So really. This is your longtime love , and you don't even recognize my name?? On top of being absentminded,you're a lame. He's in the house with you(by circumstance). Make the best out of it instead of playing yourself calling me. ME!! I'M IN CHICAGO BIT@H!! Get your priorities in order. And if you really wanna do something , try to stop him from buying that plane ticket ,cuz he already has a trip planned.That ship has sailed ,Honey. Seems like you didn't get the memo...

(In My Lou Rawls Voice) You'll Never Find......

   Fans , friends,and participants of  DiddyBop's shenanigans, y'all gon love this one. When I say I can't make this stuff up , oh, I mean that sh*t. Im about to go in , so if your eating or drinking something ,swallow it now. I am not responsible for any choking incidents, nor do I know CPR...
   Saturday night as usual, or so I thought. My girl called to rescue me from a night of reruns ,Facebook foolishness, and bad late night decisions,so I decided to partake. She mentioned an event earlier in the week but I decided I wasnt going to attend because it was a bit far ,even for me . However  I was later invited to the shindig myself and said ok, I might go. She prepped me before we even got there. Why do you ask? The likelihood that Rapper Dude would be in attendance was as high as Rodney King's chances of getting arrested for a DUI yet again. I know, I know. Oh , but it doesnt end there. This incident could have been an episode of Punk'd. So uh Ashton, how about running me my money ??

   This mark saw me as soon as I walked in . I spotted him as well, next to THE WIFE I may add,but I stayed composed. I didnt come there for him . I came to have a good time after a wack ass week, plus another friend was meeting me there. After say,10 minutes of chatting with the host and others, who walks up but this ni**a. And ALONE at that!! I could tell he didnt expect to see me, but he also didnt expect for me to respond like I did,meaning I was cool as David Ruffin-before the cocaine and egomaniacal behavior. Apparently he doesnt know I know he's married,but Ive known for a month.Then he leaves and comes back like "We need to talk..." Really? No we dont. Mind you all this time Weezy was still standing by the damn speakers or something. Homegirl's spidey senses must've started tingling because eventually she got tired of watched this idiot talk to some chick she doesnt know. Like Hammer said, its all good.Funny thing, I really dont think he expected to see me walk in the joint with another guy though, because when I came back in with my buddy ,the side of my wig lit up like I was doing a Pepsi commercial. I KNOW you not salty!!!The crew finally departs,then as he damn near runs out the door and  Sweetiepie extended her hand to me is when he says"This is my wife." Wow. The first honest thing you've said in 9 months.Cheers and applause.Im not upset, you did me a favor by getting the hell on. When Im done, Im done. Excuse me, waiter. May I please have the check?

Its Yours!!!

I ve been taking a bit more time than I really anticipated this summer in getting myself together . Everything being as compounded as it was really took me off my square. Not too drastically, just unexpected. I ,as the rest of you ,have been waiting for the shenanigans and mayhem to just do an Oak Street flash mob and out of nowhere, whoop the hell out of me, but no dice. The foolery has been at bay,and for good reason.During the last few months Ive had some growing pains, but real talk, I wouldnt trade them for the world. My broken heart and  shattered feelings forced me to face the facts about what I really want. Sure I can "scoobydoowow" a fella as easy as I can make a grilled cheese sandwich, but the ever -changing cast of characters is not what my heart desires. I want so much more ,and I am willing to wait for it. I found myself wasting time,tears ,and beautiful Saturday evenings on those that have already been forgotten. Those are precious moments in time I will never get back. Every second is meant to count , and I have only me to blame and to hold accountable. So at this point, ITS ON SON!! Life is short. I need to get the world on board with Team Diddy Bop,and stop playing the game with myself. I know Im worth a good man. So there's no sense in just passing time with those I know have a limited shelf life. Today is the first day of the rest of my life.Momma didnt make no mistakes New Year's day 1977....

I Told My Girls You Can 'Get It'...

                  YES LAWD!!!!!

I Told My Girls You Can "Get It "...

Y'all Always checked for Treach,but you see that fine ass back there?Yes Jesus...

I Told My Girls You Can "Get It"....

Mmm Mmm Mmm.....

I Told My Girls You Can "Get It".....

                                                     Yes.It's The Beard,plus he can rhyme...

I Told My Girls You Can "Get It"....

Idris Elba...Dear Lawd Jesus!

And It Goes A Little Something like This...

     Im feeling so good about where Iam right now. As has been well documented , I was on injured reserve for a minute due to my last situation. I really wanted to punch Dude in the stomach for hurting my feelings. And to make matters worse, he appears everywhere, much to my chagrin. On television, as my friends' friend on Facebook, music blogs, on the radio, you get the damn picture. Nevertheless, since he's moved on with his life, I know its only right that I do the same. Dont trip faithful followers, if I ever need me to provide you with a comedic interlude, I can always reach into that bag of mayhem to bring you a little sunshine.
     But hey, never mind that fool .This is about me.Im no longer utterly distraught over affairs of the heart. In addition to having some awesome friends who did nothing less than keep it ridiculously real with me, I coached myself into a better space. Its so unfair to yourself to wallow in self pity , especially when you know off top that the other party is probably somewhere partying on a boat  while you're at home eating cereal ,crying and watching The Smurfs. So not sexy. Guess what? Broken hearts, promises and dreams are a part of life- REAL LIFE. What better than learning something in the face of all that pain . I certainly did. And Im getting my mojo back. It was missing like Jimmy Hoffa for a second , but Im good on that now. Actually feeling a new somebody but being extra cautious. Haven't the slightest as to what the future holds, but Im going to do like Jesse ,and keep hope alive.Disappointment has packed her bags for what I hope is going to be a long vacation . I still believe in love.Luther said it best :"Superman can fly high way up in the sky, cause we believe he can/So what we choose to believe, will always work out fine..."

Keeping My Fingers Crossed....

Whatever You Like...Ha!!!

Almost Famous...

"What a day,what a day" said Ms. Badu. And she aint ever lied.I've experienced every emotion known to man within the last 9 hours.You see,my former love,Rapper Dude aka Flow(depending which blog you read last)offered me the greatest surprise of all today,and it wasnt a damn box of chocolates...
You see,by pure accident while deleting old inbox messages I happened upon the last written exchange we had. You know,the one where I explained I felt he was a complete dick for April's Facebook fiasco.I happened to look at his profile pic and guess what? This jerk just got married.

Now I'm no hater,so dont utter that BS under your breath. However,if your number is still within the last 10 dialed and I just recently kicked off my Chucks and left strands of my weave at your humble abode,and you still never came clean about this chick,you damn right Im trippin.Not because I still want you though. That ship has sailed.But because I see how deceptive youve been for the last 8 months.She has no idea her husband is as reckless as he is.I dont blame her,although she must be blind,deaf,and mute like Helen Keller.Through my bee-stung heart,somehow I feel relieved. Im free to love someone who deserves it. She's legally bound to this unstable nut.Bound to him and his plethora of pathetic circumstances.He always said when I write my book he wants his own chapter. Youve been chasing stardom since the late 90's homie.You put on a real live show during our courtship,shown all the dynamics of your multiple personalities. Sure youre a local MC,but Im gonna make you famous...

Perfect Match...

DiddyBop is a force to be reckoned with. Im high- powered and posess ridiculous energy,hence the shenanigans and mayhem that take place everyday. There's a certain list of qualities I hope Mr. DiddyBop will have before entering the ring. Wanna see it? Here goes nothing...

1.Understand Im like no other youve ever known,so dont compare me to another. She'll never be me.

2.Must have a plan.

3.Dont interrupt when GI Joe,Transformers,Martin,or Wayans Bros is on.I'll do the same when football is on.

4. Dont try to be slick. My alias is Truth Serum...

5.Let me be a good woman to you.

Not a full compilation,but hey,its a start...

No Doubt,Love Is Stronger Than Pride...

When Earth Wind &Fire said 'You Cant Hide Love',they ain't ever lied. No matter what we may do to fight the feeling,it wins every time. Love is like that ignorant family member that we all have.You know,pops up when you least expect,never call before they arrive on your doorstep,eat you out of house and home...no wait,that was my ignorant ass family member,but nevertheless,allow me to continue...

Pride is a stubborn kind of fellow.He makes you believe that you can do anything,fight anybody,and actually win,knowing full well that's not the case.Pride will make a sucker out of you real quick,with Love standing in the wings like,'Nah,I told you so'.One of my buddies was having an all out,knock down,drag out BRAWL with that maniac Pride.As he spoke to me,I could see he was trying to be tough as B.A. Baracus,but I pity the fool.He tried to go against the grain and deny what he feels for his lady,but DiddyBop knows.I could look in his eyes and tell that his rebellion from the truth wouldnt last a second. And I was right. He's certainly back where he belongs:with her. I wish them nothing but happiness.Pride couldnt win that one. I got a Pay Per View -worthy event going on with him myself right now.Trust and believe his time is limited.Ive been running too long,on some witness protection program sh*t.Love is probably just taking a cigarette break,but she'll be coming for me eventually...

Do The Right Thing and Wake The Hell Up...

Why Lawd,why? Why is it now acceptable to be the most ignorant thing walking?I mean,Im no Princess of Wales or anything,but I seem to have some sort of moral compass.I hear all the time,"Maybe they just dont know better." I refuse to believe that,no matter how you try to shape it. Dont let anyone fool you into believing that heap of shenanigans.

When we are born,we are innocent creatures,absolutely void of any semblance of foolery.We grow,take on learned behavior,and depending on the type of parents or guardians we were given,things can go one way or the other.There's really not enough time or space for me to go into where we may have made that B turn,but the end result is this: its up to us to stop this rachet BS in its tracks. A billion babies out of wedlock,pajamas in public(wash your tail,nasty a$$),acting like its cool to go to jail,hair bonnets outside,not stressing education and its worth to your children,ladies loud talking and fighting in the streets...Ok,now my fingers hurt. But  you get the picture.Rather than get on my long civil rights movement/I Have A Dream soapbox, I just ask that we all take a personal responsibility. When we each feel accountable for our OWN actions will things then change.And not a moment before. Now get it to damn gether!!! 

Nuff Said...

Video: Curren$y- “She Don’t Want A Man”

Father's Day 2011: Know Your Role...

Father's Day is here,so I tip my hat to all the wonderful men out there who have taken this role to heart.My biological didnt bother,but it was years later when I learned many of the reasons why.Although he wasnt present,he helped make me,so I wear my last name with pride.I fortunately had other males in my life which made for the best upbringing ever. My brother's father is still around(whom I call my dad)and my grandfather,who was the greatest. He was actually my favorite person in the house!I love him,and miss him dearly.  Named my son after him. With all that being said,truthfully my mother often had to do most of the job herself,but she will never be a father.

I say this with no disrespect intended,but we are perpetuating a lot of bullsh*t with the notion that women play both roles. We dont . We cant . Simply put,we never will. If that was the case,all of us would be clones,which we are not. Dont know about anyone else,but word to R. Kelly,there was some bumping and grinding involved that got all of us here on planet Earth.Relationships go awry,and often we are left to carry the weight.It hurts.I can testify to that.But no dice.We can only be the best mothers possible.We need our men. Continuing to male bash and further ignore his role in our lives and homes is making matters worse.Put an end to it.If he's a nonfactor,stop giving him unnecessary attention. Your children will thank you.I  thank my mother all the time for keeping me out of her issues with my father. Feel Im a betther person today for it.We gotta do better y'all...

Part 2 of a 4 Part Series-Reflection Eternal:Breathe In,Breathe Out...

Its so refreshing to wake up every morning ready to face the day without looming fears and worries. Of course there are challenges,but nothing that propels me to hide under the covers in bed all day.In the spirit of keeping it 'trill'with y'all, I will dig deep down into the heart of DiddyBop and share a little.I just went through a real life 'Kramer vs. Kramer' type drama.We all know how I hate dramatic confusion,it gives me headaches. So stressful was this ordeal that I began to see for myself the physical effects.Dont trip,but everyone knows Im vain so this wasnt really working for me.On top of having Marsha Warfield search me 'very carefully' each time,it was thoroughly humiliating to have to place my family on display for people that dont know me from a can of paint.All when it could have been easily resolved years ago.Add 'Rapper Dude' to the hectics,and voila! Too much,things were spinning out of control faster than Bobbi Kristina.But the month of May was good to me. I chilled,listened to my heart,and above all,prayed.The time away from it all was well worth it. Just the last 6 months alone would make a weaker woman snap,but I know there are better days ahead& I never lost sight of that.With each lesson I grow stronger and wiser,and every superhero needs superior strength and wisdom.Came out a winner.Now where's that DiddyBop cape???

Part 1 of a 4 Part Series-Reflection Eternal: Sweet Freedom...

Hey young world! Its been a minute since DiddyBop has laced you with her one of a kind  tidbits about love,life,and the pursuit of staying sane .Well Iam back! Officially off the bench.Was on the injured players list for a moment,but Im back in shape,ready for the "game",and ready to play ball!

At last report,"Rapper Dude" did a number on my heart,he gave me a 'one hit wonder'. But I took a month off,away from dating and uh,etcetera.I realized that I had been hurt and incredibly disappointed. I needed to get away from it all for a while to clear my head,literally free my mind.It worked!I feel good in the fact that I know my worth,even if he never did. It didnt happen for us for a reason.Reasons that I cant begin to concern myself with,but its for the best.I gained wisdom from that experience,and Im grateful.Its not all rappers,all musicians,hell,all light skinned dudes.It was just him. And he is not the one for me.I tip my hat Sir.I enjoyed the ride,but now I must depart.Somewhere,happiness awaits.Just make sure you shout me out on the next mixtape.DiddyBop cant be forgotten,and I know I provided a heaping helping of inspiration.....#sweetsh*t

The Laws Of Attraction

Out of all the choices we have in life,one we have little control over is who we become attracted to. What happens thereafter is completely in our hands. But that immediate feeling is something so primal,so natural.Its when we begin to put our spin on the situation thats when things may,in the famous words of a pimp near you,"hoe up or blow up".

I cant say I was just in love,but I was certainly in like ;much to the dismay of others.Others who were on the outside looking in and saw things were going nowhere fast.When you're in the midst of that magnetism,can't nobody tell you nothing. You gotta learn the hard way. Well I definitely got what I came for with this one.I knew a long time ago that he wasnt being honest about his situation,but I let it slide.Why?Letting the attraction take over when my head already knew. Even worse,the more time we spent,the heart then stepped in for some much needed action.Sorry heart,maybe next time.I went apesh*t on my FaceBook page for like 24 hours,cuz the Kid was hurt.Oh I went in! Funny thing about it though,that only gratified me for a moment. He sent me the wackest damn apology ever in my inbox,and the Band-Aid was snatched right off the wound. I do know this:all the things that he said attracted him to me still exist.Im still cool,still sweet,and of course,Im still fly.That hasnt,and wont change a bit. Somebody that deserves me will get me,cuz Im way too extra for the average guy.That damn DiddyBop.Only the strong survive...

Im Not Your Plaything.....

Well people,here we go again.Back to where I was about a week ago. Letting someone back into my heart and they never really belonged there. Im on some Jeffery Osborne right now y'all,Im only human. However somewhere the madness must stop. I thought maybe last week (the 10th to be exact) I was on some weird hormonal voyage that had me crying like a scared brother on a police show. But nah.My feelings were hurt. I denyed those emotions like Kells denyed it was him on that tape. I cant lie anymore . After seeing him since November and last having spent time with him just a few days ago, I opened that soft note trap door inside me.No good though.Its good in the sense that I know its one day possible for me to feel again and that Im not some heartless vampire without a pulse. But I shed a tear. Two actually.Im a little better now that I did that,but Im done with these shenanigans.First time it was him,this time it was me because I went for the BS. Im cool and all,yeah,but Im nobody's plaything. Get that understood. Its a shame that I continue to be as honest as they come but dont get the same in return. I mean really!Its ok in the end though.You wont keep me hanging on  a string.Cry on Toots' shoulder about all your drama,cuz truthfully, S.V.,its a done deal. I never liked your music anyway....

Even B-Girls Get The Blues...

Hey,its only been 24 hours,so Im entitled to that. Havent really talked about it,dont want to start crying manically again. Writing is my therapy so I will be going extra hard til I get it all out.Wont be long,I'll give it a week ,tops. "Flow" did blow it ,but in true DiddyBop fashion I found a way to bring the focus back to me. He hurt me.The deathblow I felt at that very moment was something I hadnt felt in  like 3 years.In that respect I do credit that dickhead with allowing me to discover that even I am not above having my  heart sliced and diced Ginsu - style.Today was tough,my MAC concealer was working overtime and I did my best to conceal my puffy-cry eyes. I made it though.And it'll only get easier as each day passes. As Ive said time and time again,people dont respect the game.If youre asked in plain English,not Arabic or Chinese,what your intentions are and relationship status,dont lie.That sh*t will blow and burn like Richard Pryor and freebase.Not a good look.If he doesnt realize now,one day he will figure out what he lost. Honey is doing way too much,so Im going to step away and let him continue this disturbing way of life that he's grown used to. The Kid dont do all that,and Im the Queen of doing too much.Im letting the pain run its course.Is it all good?Hell naw! To paraphrase the song,I hope she cheats on him with a million  dollar rapper.But I can say for certain he'll never forget me. By his own admission,Im habit forming. Oh well. C'est la vie,thats life,right?

Eat The Cake ,Anna Mae....

Its been a while since DiddyBop has laced the public with her Shenanigan -laden daily happenings,but that doesnt mean they havent been occuring.A large part of it was family related,and yall know I dont really put my people out there.A few ups and downs,but like Jadakiss says,We gon make it".My personal life,you guessed it: MAYHEM...

Well one thing most people know about me is that I keep it 100% at all times.Probably even when I need to put on the nice - nice. Whatever. I dont want anything Ive done to manifest itself in the form of hurt for someone else. Unfortunately,its happened to me.Even more surprising,my feelings are actually hurt. As much as I fought it,I liked him.I wasnt going shopping for the dress or picking out china patterns,but you get my drift. My usual lackkuster attention span showed up and showed out. Were we casually seeing each other,yes. Did I know he was involved with someone? Hell  naw,cuz I wouldnt have done it,and we did it A LOT! Yeah well,I'll recover. Tried to cry,but them sh*its just went back into my eyes. Guess my job is done.Ive learned a valuable lesson ,and he'll never- EVER forget the one Mz. DiddyBop.You wanna have your cake and eat it too,huh? Well check this out:Anna Mae aint eating the damn cake!No room for desert,got full off bullshit,sorry.P.S. You should sue whoever  tagged you in that pic for damages,cuz you just lost your prize. Damn shame too...

Love's Gonna Getcha....

Love is so strong an emotion that without question I use it sparingly,especially in general conversation. I do my best to steer clear of stating adoration  towards inanimate objects,or even better still,inanimate objects of affection. There are few things I cherish dearly: my faith,my family,my life,and music. The rest are interchangable options that I can take or leave.Im particicularly cautious in relationships as well. Only had a grand total of 5 boyfriends ever,only a couple to which I uttered those 3 little words. Not that Im opposed to going out on a limb in the name of amore',but the Kid is being easy.Ive said all that to say this:we spread love way too easily. Spend your rent money on an outfit that you just 'love'.Lame.2011 tax refund on a trap that breaks down after purchase because you 'loved'it?Stupid as hell.The worst of all,continuously meeting and dating different people,but bringing them all around your friends and family ,and claiming to have 'loved'them all.You're an idiot.When real love arrives on the scene,there's no denying the feeling.It doesnt feel like anything else.You'll know when its there.In the meantime,start with loving YOU,or to bite off Rene'& Angela,Save your love for number one...

So You Call Yourself A Writer,Huh?

On the serious tip,the written word and music have been my escape for most of my existance. Since grammar school I've written stories,filled journals, penned lyrics simply for the fun of it all. I remember getting pulled from class and driven to some school way on the north side to write  essays. Are you for real? I get to leave school and do something I like anyway?? When I got a little older is when I would play the B-Side of a single I bought and write lyrics to the instrumental,which I still do to this day. Just soothes my soul,you know? It feels good knowing that the pieces I write inspire others,or make you laugh,even better,make you think. They're truly random slaps of inspiration,and if you know me you know I shoot from the hip all the time .If only I could organize my thoughts to pitch them the way I really want to.No better time than the present.I definitely have all of you to thank. Those that comment here,on FB, text, or just do ignorant sh*t to provide mad material. The Kid surely could'nt do it without you.Much love....

Too Much Finesse For Stress...

Boy I tell you,some people will do all they can to get the best of you, but in the words of  Jennifer Holiday" and I am Telling you,I'm not going"! Just doing way too much when its not necessary.Shenanigans at the gig,where on a horrendous day it looks like a scene from '12 Monkeys',bills going up &paper is still the same,and bitter ex issues.Anyone that knows me knows  a few things about me.1) I dont like peanut brittle,parades,or Barney Miller,2)I will tap dance for extra $$ to buy hair,and 3)Im cool and dont like no drama,although she apparently has an awesome fu*king crush on me.The last thing I like to do is flip like Wilson on someone,but it has been done.As of late my faith and strength have been tested,but Im remaining strong.Its all for the love of my son,for if I wild the hell out and make some really poor decisions,who's left to care for him?So when his pappy gets to acting his age(he's 121 in dog years) or when Im tempted to throw a chair at work,I chill. When it comes down to it,me and the Dillenger,we all we got!!!!

Your're Like A Hip Hop Song,Ya Know?

Im in a  manic type of mood at this moment. Do I really want to be in a relatioship?Do I want to stay single? Am I shallow,and just like for people to want me? Real talk.The good guys I put on ice,but the ones whose lives are running on treadmills, the attraction is stupid! Its crazy that I recognize this,but even more insane that I perpetuate this behavior.
I had an experience recently that astounded the usually unflappable me.For starters,I never been involved in a situation remotely similar to this.Im seeing a gentleman,we'll call him Flow for the sake of not busting him out.Me and Flow are cool I guess.Started out vibing off some music stuff,he admires my taste,I admire  his skills,then we got personal.A rather casual relationship it is,cuz well,you know the artist type.Im not interested in in his personal drama ,which he seems to have. And even though I know I couldnt deal with him seriously,he makes me feel 'it',whatever that is.I heard music in my head too,but I digress.Everytime we  part ways,I feel strange,in a 'I want you to want me,so I can say nevermind'kind of way.I thought maybe I was catching feelings. Nah,that aint it.But whatever it is,it had me rhyming in the midst of that tantric session.I heard beats and everything.I need to just be easy,because I dont want things to go terribly bad and cannot be salvaged.Hip hop brought us together,but logic,for the sake of my heartstrings ,says we should be apart.Sure,'nigga can Flow',but the beats of my heart won this round...

Hip Hop Wish List.....

87th Street all day! Man he's fly,with a decent personality. He'd definitely get it...

Hip Hop Wish List.....

Q Tip has always been sexy......

Hip Hop Wish List.....

I Can't Lie To Me...

No real rhyme ,but plenty of reason.Read a lot of posts about relationships,and began to ponder my single status and just take an honest look at it all.And one thing folks know about me is that Im going to always be honest,even if it puts me out there a little bit. So in the words of the Grand Wizard,Slick Rick, "Herrrre we go"....
1)I have a short attention span. I get bored very easily.Had an ex tell me to my face 'Im not some kind of toy you can play with when you feel like it and put me down'...Pretty sobering.
2)Nobody's perfect,but Ive caught myself searching for it.Ive met and been involved with a few men that had a pretty good balance,the yin to my yang.Just being me though,I fumbled.Explaination below...
3)I undeniably am a jerk sometimes.If something isnt to my liking,I voice that sh*t. A couple of  weeks back, a paramour was visiting,and asked what was on my mind. Well since I hadnt seen him in a month,the initial feelings of disappointment were long gone.I liked him,but it seems I may have just been a 'seat filler' in the awards show he calls his life. So I responded I was indifferent.That was the truth.Will I still want to feel on you?Sure.But will I ever take you seriously? Hell no. And ask me if I feel bad about it.Go on.Wait for the answer...

Somebody Loves You,Baby....

As I was vibing and riding on my way to the gig this morning, I fell into deep thought.A song by Phyliss Hyman came on.I was singing along in my raspy alto and snapping my fingers when I had  realization: she's no longer with us. Now she's been gone since the year I graduated from high school,but this was a relatively young woman ,a phenominal talent that we lost much too soon.Having watched her life's story I also  thought about the fact that she had taken her own life;after years of heartbreak,substance and food addiction,and ultimately the hidden shame of mental illness. There are battles that we must fight everyday.Although the road may seem tough,suicide is not the solution.I at times get lonely and long for that neverending love story.Because it hasnt yet happened does not indicate that it never will. Failed relationships happen everyday.Its a fact.But there are so many other reasons for us to press on and strive for a happy ,healthy life. If you need to cry,do it. Go to a close friend if you need someone to talk to.Life can be tough,but understand  that you are not alone.Know that someone ,somewhere loves you and wishes for nothing but your everlasting happiness.Much love to all .RIP Ms.Phyliss Hyman....

Random As They Wanna Be...

Oooh wee! So much mayhem and so little space to type it all in. Dont matter,Im no quitter. Im going in,as the youngsters say nowadays.No offense to anyone...
1*I have some hatin ass neighbors,real talk.I cant do shit up in here without these nosy broads worrying about what Im doing.Get some friends and a clue and leave me alone.
2*Gotta just get it off my chest,but my ex is one bitter ass man.Who names their new child after the last child they had,except George Foreman?Youre married,asking me who Im dating like it matters!Calling to start mess,you can miss me with the BS.I dont like you.Just being civil for the child's sake.Ok,gave you enough airtime...
3*Men that dont speak up. If you like me ,say it dammit.Im tired of playing Scattegories with yall.Geez ,asking me for over a year when we can get together,yet you never make a move? At this point homeboy,dont bother.I lost interest 8 months ago...
4*If youre broke,stop reproducing.Its just that simple.
5*To whom it may concern(cuz its 2 of yall),take care of home please. Dealing with me will not cure what ails you, it will only confuse you more.Im a hard habit to break .Its ok,I understand. But please know that passing time with me will make your battle that much harder to fight.I really like one of you,but I know and you know that youre not ready.The other,eh.That says it all...

Done for the evening ...Until next time,this has been Mz.Fly DiddyBop,giving you the business as no other can.

Something In Your Eyes That Told Me...

BBD didn't lie a bit! The eyes are definitely the windows to the soul ,although sometimes we need to break out the Windex to wipe some of the cloudiness,i.e. untruth,away.When I was a kid,I remember knowing whether or not someone was cool to deal with,based on what I saw in their eyes. If they didn't look right to me,I wasn't going,and I didnt care if I was being fair or not. That was Lil DiddyBop.Fast forward(mumble mumble)years later,and I still do the same thing. There are other factors  to study,but those eyes never lie. When I look at my hardcore circle of friends,I see love .That's why Ive kept the same ones nearly my entire life.My family,same thing.But there are times when I catch the wrong vibe ,and believe me when I do,Im on the next train out! Ive never been wrong -EVER. For example,I have a gentleman friend that I sometimes keep company with.Im comfortable with him,but when I look at himI know there's a backstory.He continues to give me bits and pieces,not aware that I do know what  the deal is. I saw pain in his gaze the last time we met.He might like me a little,but he's not ready,and I know that just by looking at him.Those eyes of his told an entire story that he couldnt verbalize.Its okay.Sometimes we're not really ready to share all things personal.However we do need to understand that actions and body language can be decifered and decoded.Im just waiting for him to tell what Ive already read  from those sleepy browns of his....

Mirror Mirror...

Im just going to get right to the point on this one.We  must learn as living and breathing adults to be honest with ourselves,others,and to face our fears,no matter how much that truth may hurt. I may have to go in like surgery on this one,but its on my heart.And if anyone knows anything about me,I dont deny the truth.Even when Im at fault,I admit my role.Couldnt face myself if  I lie to ME! With that being said,here goes nothing...
I am terrified of emotional attachment.I mean ,most times I actually may not really feel you like that,but in the cases where I do,Im going to fight it.Hurt feelings suck.And I dont want to experience it.Tragic I know,but Im being honest remember?A few recent instances also weighed heavily on my heart(no offense to anyone)...
Honey,I know you want someone to love you,but turning into and out and out whore at age 30 isnt the way.At this rate ,the only relationship you can build may be with an ex-pimp with dreams of coming out or retirement.Drive Slow Homie..
Next,I know you may think Im great,Sir,but you're just blinded by the light .You have someone who loves you dearly.Dont ruin it .Share your intimate thoughts with her.Im sure she wants to deepen the relationship you two have.After all,I dont get close to married men.Do yourself favor and take care of home....
Finally,,I must sya that you never had me fooled,Sir.I have known the truth for quite some time,althoughyou have yet to admit it to me.Its so obvious that youre hurting right now,however its due to your own misdeeds.If you first come correct with yourself then you can be right with others.From the moment we became acquainted I knew you were searching for that missing piece your life's puzzle.But you cant complete anything with this unfinished business lying around.I liked you,but knew you were hiding something.Strange position for me to be in,but hey,its real.You had me at hello,but when I Googled your ass and found out what you recently confirmed,I gave those feelings the Captain's Salute.I really wish I could have gotten the opportunity to share the inner workings of my heart with you the way I wanted to.But I dont really know who you are.Even worse ,I dont think you do either.You need to do a Michael Jackson and look at the man in the mirror.Youve been doing too much for too long.Now youre emotionally fragile.Time to make that change,Bruh.Our time together was brief.I refuse to get trapped in your web of shenanigans.....

Love's Holiday...

Well here we all are on another Valentine's Day,2011 version. I've read tons of Facebook posts featuring love songs and people saying how they wish they had that special one on this V-Day. I can sympathize,who doesnt want someone in this world to love them? Love is awesome! It feels so good to have someone that you know you'll fight a bear with a toothpick over(you can thank Gramma DiddyBop and Svedka for that last analogy).But I certainly dont want someone just to have them today.Did I have an actual date?No.Did I have some wonderful people acknowledge me today and spend some time with an old friend?I absolutely did,and it felt splendid.My heart is worth so much more than one day a year and I would hope you feel the same about yours too.I like hard and love even harder,so my feelings are a cherished commodity.I want to be loved,cared for and in the waking thoughts of someone all year round.So to ask if Im sad or lonely today?Not one bit. I can buy my own flowers and candy. Im simply being patient and obedient,waiting for my star player to walk onto the court ,donning his Team DiddyBop jersey.#mytruelove....

What Goes Around...

First name Karma,middle name Issa,last name Bit@h.She plays strictly by the book and will flex on anyone that tries to test her 'gangsta'. I know for sure, because she's called me out a few times .Ive had my ass handed to me on several occasions,so I know not to test my limits  with her.However everyone doesnt share my mindset.After so long,the wrong  you impend upon others  comes back,no question.Oh ,you thought that was Publisher's Clearing House ringing the bell with a big stunt check?Nah,it was Big Bad Karma pulling your hoe card,and in the words of my dude from Coming To America,"Your rent's due,muthafu@ka!"Now Im not saying Im perfect by any means.DiddyBop would not say such.But  I will say that I treat people the way I want to be treated. Even though I can be a dick,and will play the part accordingly if needed,its not my nature. Anyone who knows me knows that  I dont show up with my representative,youre getting the pure uncut from the time I introduce myself.I will be good to you until Im given a reason to do otherwise,and otherwise has arrived on the scene.Misunderstandings are one thing,out and out lies are another ;and I dont forgive lying. I feel especially terrible that I stumbled  upon the truth,when I asked for it.Damn shame too.Welp,I wont stop being the person Iam .In time blessings come with obedience.But Ive sat  down with my father at times for heart to hearts and saw the pain in his eyes when he knows Im hurt.Please remember your actions and reconsider because 20 years into the future you may have to wipe your daughter's tears from some jerk that mistreated her,just like youve done  to someone in the present.Be mindful...

It Was All Good Just A Week Ago...

Then came Snowmageddon 2011,or whatever colorful euphemism you choose to bestow upon this wack ass snowstorm we had here in the Chi.In any case,I got something  to get off my chest,for goodness sake the 'girls'sitting up there is enough.Look,for the most part everyone is snowed  in.Unless your alderman is gatdamn Superman and plowed your street himself,youre trapped.So if you cannot  do anything about it,please dont ask me if I need anything,what can you do, none of that.Its just annoying at this point.Also,if we are snowed in together and you have no groceries,and are not making a concerted effort to get to the nearest store,dont think its  going down.I mean ,are  you kidding me?I cant think on an empty stomach,let alone do the freaky sneak.I need to write a manual  for times like these,tentatively titled"How  Not To Lose Your Sweet Thang During Times Of Distress".Just a thought....

Ahem,Is This Thing On? Got Some Truth To Tell....

Tell the truth and shame the devil ,that's what they say,right?Well Im about to be brutally honest and even tell on myself a little.The parties involved probably don't read my blog  anyway,but if so ,that's cool too. This just so happens to be the easiest platform for me to divulge such intimate thoughts.Welp,here goes nothing. Truth is I've been lying to myself for a little while here,saying I didnt care knowing I do.The Larry Dallas alter ego simply didnt kick in with this one no matter how hard I tried.I felt butterflies each time  I saw him,but of course I had to front like it was no big deal. Found myself spending time I dont spend-EVER- and anticipating his calls.Ooooh I was feeling lame.I even focused a little when speaking with him.I know,I know,not the Kid,right?Well yes,I did.Despite having reservations,it just happened. Let's be clear,Im not crazy.I didnt kick the reserves to the curb,but I did take an interest.Bad news is that my feelings are unrequited.Good news,and there is an upside to this.I've discovered that I'm not totally numb to emotion as previously thought. Despite the fact that he may not recognize it,I never lost sight of the gem I truly am.Maybe wrong  place,wrong space,next lifetime perhaps we'll meet again.If not its all good.By my own admission at least ,I can proudly say the flame on my heart still ignites.Job well done DiddyBop,job well done....

You Doing Waaaaaay Too Much...

Im an expert on this subject actually.Before this was a popular catchphrase,Moms would see me spinning my wheels in certain situations and tell me"Slow down,take your time.Youre doing too much.Just Be still..." You know what?She was right on the money.Life has a crazy way of letting you see for yourself that youre headed nowhere fast.Went on a self imposed strike last fall after a fun filled summer with a few near misses.When my life started spinning like the wheel  on Wheel Of Fortune(shout to Pat Sajack),I knew it was time to just stop.No yellow light,no pause,STOP. I came out 30 days later feeling renewed.However Im proud that I recognized the limit on what I could tolerate.Many of us do not and things get crazy for real,like 72 hour hold crazy.If you know its no good for you,let it fly.Just release it .Life is what you make it.We all say we want to live drama free,but do we truly strive for that or just say it because it sounds good?We often create the very same pitfalls we should avoid.Be easy,or you could end up looking like this dude,who clearly did not have that talk with Moms...

Run For Your Life ! Bitchassness Is Outta Control!

Hide your kids,hide your wife,sucka niggas are running rampant on these city streets,even in the case of this blizzard.Over the last 3,count em 3 days,Ive recieved several calls,texts,and inbox messages about someone acting a complete fool.I dont know what is going on but that whole keep it real movement from a few years back is dead.Dead like Uncle Charlie,and he's been dead and buried since 1955.Instead of presenting  the truth,many are comfortable simply living a facade-and never owning up to the what's real.I cant believe in this day and age that people still  engage in this mess. Case#1,getting ghost for NO reason.For real?Who does that you ask?Apparently alot of these weirdos out here.If you have other things going on,or you just dont want to be down no more,just say that.Dont tuck your gatdamn tail and run like freaking Flo Jo and leave the other person on stuck.Trust me,you are burning a bridge. Case #2,keep the babies out of your personal beef. That's some of the lamest ish ever created.Case#3, stop being a dick to those that are good to you,with your selfish ass.You know what?I want to put these a**holes on blast by name,but nah.They'll soon realize that bitch Karma goes in,and she more of a jackass than they could ever be.Im done.Gave you fools enough  airtime....

P.S. In the famous words of Colonel Stinkmeaner:Uz a BITCH!

Top 10 List of Things Carol Moseley Braun Cant Do For Me...

10.She couldnt do my taxes...
9.She couldnt take out my trash...
8.She couldnt clip my toenails...
7.She couldnt hot comb my kitchen...
6.She couldnt floss my teeth...
5.She couldnt go on a BAD blind date for me.
4.She couldnt shovel my snow...
3.She couldnt sit in rush hour traffic for me...
2.She couldnt change my baby's diapers..and finally

1.She damn sure cant be my mayor.. No stank you....

That's When Ya Lost....

Nothing extra prolific here,just stating some facts,real ish
Here goes nothing:
*All them babies and different daddies/mommas...
*Over 30 and you still at the crib talking about what youre going  to do when you get your taxes  back,but never about even looking for a better way for yourself.
*Crying over the same man/woman for more than 2 months knowing they dont want your ass back...
*Getting upset about things that dont concern you,PERIOD...

*Selfishness,when you was on your ass just a minute ago. Yall was broke before,it can happen again,selfish bastard...
*Grown as hell,still "out here".Anytime a grown ass man calls a grown woman a 'hoe' and is right,damn.Must be in the presentation ...
*Going after married men in 2011....Nahhhh
*Doing ill sh*t in front of your kids,including bringing every random stragg in front of them...
*No goals,asprirations,no drive to be your very best.....#dead.....

"drops mic,Captain salutes crowd,walks off..."